Thursday, October 19, 2006


Hello sweet baby girl.

I miss you.
I am very glad you are. I miss talking to you when you are away.

Wearing pants today.
Why are you doing this? Feeling rebellious, or was there a need. Or just feeling out of touch with Master?

That can happen. Tell Me what you mean. Master needs to get your head straight.

probably just feeling out of touch with Master.

yes, I can feel that you Do need some guidance, to be used and set in your place as slave girl. But that is not *your* fault. And it doesn't make you less a good slave girl. It just means you need to be maintained.

I want you to make sure your feet are flat on the floor. Do you have on panties? if so, go remove them. How about a bra...can you remove that? I would like to see a few pictures of your nipples and of your healing hood. Take a few moments in this busy day and do as Master directs. And know that you will be getting that good spanking in just 2 days...along with quite a bit of time on your knees.


Really? Well, i feel like i need a good spanking. i'm not feeling very slave-like.

did you perform your 2 pm task, little one?

arghhh! No. Do i have to? It's no fun without You.

shall Master call?

No Sir, i did it.

The tasks needn't be complex or kinky. They only need to remind her of your control and force her to think about you and your desires while she's apart from you:

Require her to apply rubber bands around her nipples and wear all day (instruct her to adjust tightness to a light squeeze in order to not totally cut off blood flow).

With bands in place, require her to go braless with a tight top, and to run errands around town until someone comments about her nipples.

Require her to write your name in ink on her body while you're away.

Require her to visit an erotic bookstore and to browse the videos, magazines, and paraphernalia for 30 minutes. No purchase required.

Require her to visit the local mainstream bookstore and to browse the self-help sex books for 30 minutes.

Forbid her to shave her legs or her underarms until you return.

Require her to totally shave her pubic region.

Forbid her to wear underwear, or

Force her to buy and wear more erotic sexy underwear than usual, or

Require her to buy and wear ugly old fashioned underwear

Instruct her to visit the local pet shop and for her to physically "try on" various dog collars.

Require her to visit the beauty shop and to change her hair style to something of your choice.

Require her to change her hair color to the color of your choice.

Have her buy and wear an ankle bracelet with your initial.

Have her wear a collar symbolic of your ownership when she's alone at her house.

Tasks to build her up:

Require her to donate some volunteer time at the local charity of your choice.

Require her to attend worship at the place of your choice.

Require her to make a list of things that she likes about herself.

Require her to make a list of personal goals.

Require her to exercise daily - exercise regime to be specifically developed by you.

Have her buy herself a nice "going out" outfit. Choose the style and color that you like best.

Have her smile, introduce herself, and talk to 5 new people each day you're gone.

Tasks to tear her down:

Require her to dress like a slut, go into a bar and stay until she's propositioned. Your choice whether to tell her to accept or turn down the offer.

Require her to wear old ugly clothes out in public.

Require her to write a list of her naughty deeds.

Require her to make a list of ALL her sex partners and share it with you.

Force her to visit a public park, sit on a bench, and pee herself before returning home.

just a reminder that you are owned, head to toe, completely...that are bound to Me, with no right to deny Me anything of you I want, any way I want, any time I want, anywhere I want.


Prove it!

get rid of the kids for a night and I will prove it in a way that you will remember vividly in your head and heart for a long time, and be reminded for several days by your painful, black and blue butt young lady. on second thought, it does not take THAT long to administer a good hearty spanking. Perhaps before or after your class on Friday.

Okay -- i believe You. No further proof is necessary. i just needed to hear the passion in Your words. Thank You.

Thank you, have been angling for a punishment spanking. Sometimes that is needed, not for punishment, but so the girl knows for sure that it is out there waiting if she disobeys. you've earned it, now you can have it.

Perhaps i do need it. i want a good cry and to be held and kissed gently for a long time.

certainly you need it....afterward you earn forgiveness.

tell Me about your meds again... what are you still taking, and what issues?

i take___________________- for depression.

And tell me what you feel your mood is like?
Without them i fall into a pretty nasty pity party.

I know you miss me...because I miss you, a lot. a bunch.

Don't even get me started on this one until i've had my meds.

You didn't exactly anger Me, you were just pushing. It is MY job to define your limits. That was one. Sometimes I growl when I am challenged. Yes you get disciplined, because you need it, not because you angered me. I accept your apology, but I know you were not intentionally bratting, you were just seeking the edge of your limit.

Once again, Your wisdom overwhelms me. i am very lucky. i like Your growl. It makes me feel safe and secure even if directed at me. Before You discipline me, can You hold me for a bit first?

sounds to me like what is called for is: more cuddling, more spanking, followed by more blow jobs followed by more fucking and more cuddling. What do you think?

i really want to be with You soon. i wish You could take me to a cabin in some remote area, tie me and cane me until i collapse from pain, or exhaustion, or both, then take me down and hold me while i cry hard. my head is jumbled. i can't think clearly. i need time with You to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Maybe that is a horrible idea, but that is what i want this very moment. If You ask me again in 10 minutes, i'll probably already regret having sent this email.


i can't do this. i need to be released from You. i have to find a normal life again. Please let me go.


When i found You on the internet, i was looking for relief from many years of sexual frustration. Your words seduced me. My body, my mind, my very soul craved attention. You took me under Your wing and led me into Your world. Your way of domination. It was frightening, exciting, erotic, and so much more. Your simplest touch set me on fire. Within the first few meetings, i realized what was happening. This was addictive. i wanted more and still more. i wanted to be completely and totally absorbed. i panicked and withdrew. You were patient, and i returned. i hung on knowing that i was safe because You were married. You loved Your wife and i was merely a toy, a past time, a solution to a temporary location dilemma that would be resolved and You would move back to W. Knowing this, i stepped even deeper into the warmth and protection that You offered. Trust grew. Affection grew. Your efforts to build me up were healing old wounds. Your ability to bring me to increasingly new levels of sexual bliss was overwhelming.

Then You and W started having serious problems. i was terrified. i played a part in this, even if slight. i know that i did in spite of all Your protestations to the contrary. Inwardly i recognized that my existence made the need to work things out with W less compelling. i accepted Your assurances that i was not a homewrecker in spite of my own acknowledgement of partial guilt.

The possessiveness and protection that You showed in the planning of the party, and in the party itself was moving. You're assurances that this was simply Your role as Dom were becoming much less credible. i proudly wore my collar and submitted to piercing my nipples. i wanted so much to give back some small part of all that You had given to me.

You no longer lived here. i was no longer a distraction. You and W were separated. Yet, i continued on, ignoring the implications.

When i left H, You were my rock. You supported me and kept me together. i continued on, ignoring the implications.

Then a client asked me out on a date. An attractive, successful business man in his mid-40s. i turned him down. Not because i'm still married. Not because he wasn't a great guy with whom i shared a great deal of common interests. Because of my bond with You. Because You own me. Because of my feelings for You.

My head started to explode. What am i doing? i finally left my husband, and now can start fresh. i can date and meets someone i can grow old with. Yet, i remain bound by word and by heart to a man whose socio-political views are adverse to my own, a man who has already suffered through one long distance relationship with the added complications of step-children, a man who is a gun collector, and rides a motorcycle. A man whose career has successfully led Him to another city, and whose ability to withstand the loneliness of such a distance resulted in His seeking me. This is not the man i bring into my world, in spite of all the extraordinary kindnesses shown, and the passion that exists. In truth the love in my heart is for Him as Master. It is not love for Him as a lifetime mate. To attempt to think of Him in that way always leads to the obvious conclusion that it would never work. But why? Why when we have so much fun together and He treats me so well, and, and, and..... it just wouldn't. i hate guns. Why do i want to go to a shooting range with Him? Because it would make Him happy. Motorcyles are dangerous. Why do i say i'd like to go for a ride with Him? Because it would make Him happy. It is my nature. As a sub, i instinctively want to please. It is my role in this. How could a Dom not fall in love with a sub? She creates herself in His image. She caters to His desires and interests and finds happiness in the pleasure that it brings to Him. She loves Him for the protection He offers and for the pleasure He brings, and perhaps most of all for the deep understanding of the core of her nature. But is that enough to base a marriage on? It can't be. Even if it were, the combination of Your personality and Son’s would be absolutely disastrous and i will never risk losing him.

i will not take this to the next level. In this i am resolved. Nor can we leave it as status quo. Now that the line has been crossed by You and become quite blurry for me. It would be unfair to us both. i seek release because it is what is right for my children, for me, and ultimately, for You as well. Our lives touched and the world stopped as we held tight to one another and weathered our storms. Now straighter heads must prevail. It is time to let go -- it is. Were i to submit to You again, it would not be as Master and slave. You know it and now i know it. We wouldn't be having sex. We would be making love. When a couple makes love unspoken promises are made. Like submission, this is another core part of my very soul. i will not make a promise to You that i can not keep. i will not let You make love to me knowing how close i am to the brink of making a mistake that will ultimately cause so much more harm than the loss we each will feel from ending this now. i seek release and Your blessing. But please know, that even without it, i can submit to You, my loving
Master, no longer. With a heavy heart, i beg You to understand and accept. slave

It is worse than hard. It is just not right. Set an alarm or something so we can speak tonight, though I would also like to speak during the day. AND tomorrow while you are driving. I do remember our night in ___________. I am so glad we had that time together. I love being with you in public, but even more having you alone so we can be more intimate. Not sexual, though that is a part of it, but having you so near that we touch, that we breathe the same air...that you can smell me, and I can smell you. I usually don't talk about your scent, but it is distinctive to Me. the smell of open readiness exudes from you when we are together.

I am not giving this up. I want you to know that I am not angry with you, you are just trying to make your life work. I am mad at time and space for making this difficult. But I do not relent. I always get what I want, you should know that by now.

It was really good to talk to you last night. I know I am not playing fair with you, but affairs of the heart can't be decided on a strictly logical basis.

I was thinking about you this morning, which, of course, I so seldom do. I wondered, when I spank you, and then bring you up, why do you come to Me so hard, kiss Me so hard, hold Me so hard?

Complicated question. i don't know that i know for sure, but i know i want to be comforted from the pain. i want reassurance that i am cherished. The pain stimulates my brain and i can emotionally feel much more than normal, and i can release passion and feelings. Finally, it is what You taught me.

Very good answer. I hope when you come to me that you are comforted and you feel cherished. I know you are certainly passionate. I am glad I taught you that.


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